What Control?

So all is set for a transfer this coming Tuesday. Our donor had 25 eggs retrieved and we get the fertilization results tomorrow. Great right? Yes and we are now, of course, agonizing about whether to put on or two back. Twins would be a lot. And then we think, but my gosh could we actually be that lucky that two would take on the first go? And of course this is all so hypothetical and all about this illusion of control over details when you have a child this way. Details that we have no control over whatsoever. Tuesday will be transfer. I’m up. Our obgyn said, given my past pregnancy (the one with our first donor cycle) she things, besides some possible discomfort toward the end, I should go for two embryos as we would have more of a chance of a pregnancy that way. Maybe I was looking for a medical reason not to try two, I don’t know. At any rate I think, at the moment, our feeling it to go for it because well, we wont try this again. Its sort of our last shot. I would love to expand our family, am satisfied with what we have, and well, this is sort of it . Also not getting any younger. I turned 42 last month.

So there it is. If anyone still reads this, please send your good thoughts our way.