Thursday, November 29, 2007

A little more on telling…

So my husband and I have now told just about all the people in our lives that are close to us about DE and the struggles we’ve been through regarding infertility. Mostly in superficial detail with more explanation when it’s asked for. A couple of interesting things friend revealed that she too had two miscarriages
2.only one friend asked us questions about the donor

Regarding #2: I’m not sure why more of our friends haven’t asked more detailed questions but I can say that I was grateful to go into detail with the friend who did ask. It felt amazingly good to talk frankly about coming to terms with DE, choosing the donor, the first waves of genetic loss followed by the embracing of the idea that a baby is much more than genes. the best things my husband and I can pass on to the future little one is o the knowledge we have learned and continue to learn by living our lives.

I’d be curious, if anyone wants to share, how your friends reacted when you told them about doing DE or DI. Did they ask lots of questions? Tell you that they were happy for you and leave it that? Something else?

Oh – glucose test came back negative. No gestational diabetes!


Summer said...

We are just starting this process and I notice that most people ignore the donor egg part of it. I don't know if it's because it makes them feel uncomfortable or they think talking about it will make me uncomfortable. If people ask questions, they mostly focus on the IVF part. Only one person has asked me extensively about how we're looking for donors (which is what we're trying to do right now).

Kami said...

I might be the odd one here, but I don't supposed I gave anyone much chance to ask. I told them first. Well, my family and good friends anyway. They knew when my RE first proposed it, they knew about my thoughts along the way and I told them how I found who we found.

When I have told people I don't know as well, they do usually ignore that part, but then we aren't close friends.

My thought is that they ignore it because it is just to foreign a concept and they don't know what to say, they secretly disapprove, or they don't know how sensitive I would be.

m said...

Yay for no diabetes.

We've only told a few friends. 1 family member. All seem to be pretty fascinated with the entire process - the choosing of donors, the process itself. Even our pals who have a beautiful son via IVF were very interested in hearing the details and how our experience differed or was similar to theirs.

Of course, we told these select few for a reason. They are some of our closest pals whom we tell everything to. I am not expecting this kind of interest (or understanding) from the next set of folks we tell. Which is probably why we are delaying in telling them anything.

rae said...

i'm glad you don't have gest diabetes!! thats great.
you are really getting close.
i'm so jealous!!! i want to get to where you are dangit!!!

midlife mommy said...

We talked about our infertility issues all along if people seemed interested (we went through four years of trying with timing, Clomid, injections with IUI, IVF with my eggs, IVF with donor eggs), so it was only natural to discuss DE -- just another medical issue for us. Surprisingly, I've found that most people have forgotten the DE part of the equation four years after my pregnancy began, because they say things like "she has your eyes" or some variation on that theme. My parents are/were the only odd ones -- they think I shouldn't tell my daughter about her beginnings to "avoid trouble" and keep her from looking for her "real mother." They've never said it with any malice, so I try not to take it the wrong way.