Sometimes Biology Can Take Three

My husband and I spoke to our future pediatrician last night – the doctor who has two DE children…we wanted to hear a little bit more about how he thought a donor recipient might affect the future little one as he/she develops since clearly it’s not gonna be in the genes. What he said in a nutshell was this: A DE recipient can and does effect the constitutional hardiness around the immune functions for the first 4 to 7 months after birth. In other words early on the baby will carry what we pass onto it/is protected by our biology for a short period. After that there are things that we can continue to modulate (his word) that can have a biological effect on the future little ones immune system. For example if one chooses to breast feed limiting exposure to certain foods can help prevent allergies or, a less direct example, by exposing the baby to animals like cats and dogs we can reduce the likelihood of pet allergies. Previously I’d discussed with him taking certain supplements like fish oil, which can positively effect brain development, and probiotics which help against development of food allergies because they break down food into digestible bits – in other words taking certain vitamins etc, can benefit the health of the baby. That’s pretty awesome. It’s nice to think about what can be done to help shape how a future little ones body responds to certain things.

On another very brief note (and this is directly about my current pregnancy so if for what ever reason you don’t feel like reading about these kinds of details please stop.): I am into my thirty third week and finally yesterday had the guts to purchase something for the future little one: a pair of totally frivolous and unnecessary fuzzy orange slippers. So now we have one pair of useless fuzzy orange slippers coming in the mail and nothing else. Go figure. The fear has really kept me from mobilizing but all of a sudden there are seven weeks left and all of a sudden im feeling like this is really going to happen and something terrible isn’t laying in wait around the corner. Although I’m still keeping my fingers and toes crossed.

A little more on telling…

So my husband and I have now told just about all the people in our lives that are close to us about DE and the struggles we’ve been through regarding infertility. Mostly in superficial detail with more explanation when it’s asked for. A couple of interesting things

1.one friend revealed that she too had two miscarriages
2.only one friend asked us questions about the donor

Regarding #2: I’m not sure why more of our friends haven’t asked more detailed questions but I can say that I was grateful to go into detail with the friend who did ask. It felt amazingly good to talk frankly about coming to terms with DE, choosing the donor, the first waves of genetic loss followed by the embracing of the idea that a baby is much more than genes. the best things my husband and I can pass on to the future little one is o the knowledge we have learned and continue to learn by living our lives.

I’d be curious, if anyone wants to share, how your friends reacted when you told them about doing DE or DI. Did they ask lots of questions? Tell you that they were happy for you and leave it that? Something else?

Oh – glucose test came back negative. No gestational diabetes!