Wednesday, December 19, 2007

You never know who has used donor eggs…

Note: I re-wrote this post from the first posting…feel it now says more of what I wanted to convey…and kami thanks for your support as always…when I put this new post up everything got deleted.

It’s good to tell people.

The pediatrician we interviewed this morning has two children via egg donor. This was wonderful news to us. I think I felt my heart lifting when he said that. It re-enforces my belief that being open and honest about DE is the way to go and just for that serendipity – finding someone who has some direct experience with infertility with the issues around DE or DI etc.

I keep wanting to talk about DE with more people. For me it is very freeing and every time we speak about it I feel it becomes less of a big deal, more of a this is what we did. If that makes any sense.

I had a long talk with a friend recently who was adopted and is now in touch with her bio mom. I’ll post about that later as I think there is some correlation between what she has experienced and some of the things I know I’ve thought about when deciding on a donor and thinking about how we would tell the future little one etc.

I’m out of time today, need to get back to work, but will post more on this later.


Summer said...

That freeing feeling is exactly how I feel when I talk to people about our plans for DE.

How great to have found a pediatrician who has experienced it himself!

Rachel said...

I find myself totally okay to talk about it to people that I feel safe with... so that's a smaller circle, but I can relate to your feeling of freedom in talking about it naturally. I know there are women (and men) that keep it in total secrecy and I worry about the repercussions of that for them. How sad to need to lie about something that should hold no shame — creating a family.

I will look forward to your post on your friend who was adopted. That sounds like some good reading!

stacyb said...

I appreciate the thoughtful posts. Thanks Summer and Rachel
...and to clarify: when i say tell people i am still thinking about friends and family and people who are in our lives in a constant way (like a doctor), but I have not yet felt compelled to tell a stranger or someone I barely know the whole story. I'm not sure if this will change or not. And I'm not sure if it means I'm hiding something by not saying everything to everyone (or anyone) whenever possible. We'll see.

Anonymous said...

I am SO looking forward to expanding my circle of friends and family who know. But I feel to do so now would jinx us. Here's to hoping that we'll have something to say soon.

Stacyb, you had asked about my other online project here it is -

(I think you know who this is :) )