I have nothing to do and it’s freaking me out. I had one last deadline for a big project and that was finished yesterday. When I look at my calendar for next week there is nothing....well other than the due date for the baby on Monday February 25th although the future little one has not sent an RSVP and for all I know might be rather late. For now this is the official beginning of maternity leave – but my brain is working overtime coming up with little projects like, oh, why not clean out the freezer? And, how about ripping the rest of the CD’s so your collection is totally digitized, and lets plan a hiking trip for the Summer in a place you know nothing about and have no information on so you can spend several hours trolling the internet. I keep making lists and finishing everything, which while gratifying, is frustrating because I seem to want to have things to do. My husband and I are going to a play tomorrow afternoon which I’m looking forward to and the rest of my days are filled with acupuncture, reflexology and pregnancy massage all designed to get my body into labor…I actually have until March 4th to do this and then I’ve been told induction awaits so I have time, and I’m not worried, my body will do what it needs to do.
I am so grateful for the donor egg process. I think about how upsetting the idea was at first and can now barely believe I was every upset. I feel very calm, very happy and have no doubts that this is our baby and that the soul that was meant to come to us has. I have no wish that things played out differently. I think that’s a good place to be and just wanted to share that because I know with DE the question can comes up: will I be able to love/accept this baby and while I certainly can’t answer for what anyone else will experience I can say from my own experience up to this moment the answer is yes I can love/accept this baby AND not have any second thoughts about what might have been had this been my egg. It will be our child and that is a wonderful thing.
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9 comments:
I can't believe your due date is almost here! It's so nice to hear you're happy and looking forward to what comes next. Good luck with everything - I look forward to your updates.
Wow, I didn't realize you were so close to your due date! I hope you have a great weekend!
That is wonderful to hear! While I do believe in my ability to love and accept my DE baby, I still wonder if I will always be a little bit sad I never had my genetic child.
Everyone is different, but it is still encouraging to hear how you have adjusted.
As for staying busy - I think that makes sense and is a great idea. I think you should plan a project for early labor too.
Goodness, you're so near;y there! Hope rthe birth goes well.
xxx
My gosh, you are so close!
FYI - thanks so much for your thoughts and info on acupuncture, etc. My first appointment is on Monday....
Lovely post, my dear... I am so glad you are so close and I really appreciate you sharing your feelings as you are... as far as your free time, isn't this why Martha Stewart was invented? Check her site, she's probably got something fun to do with doilies or whatnot... :P Seriously, hang in there, I hope you will post a picture of little hand or foot or something... so that I can cry and wish that I will be just like you when I grow up! : )
thank you ladies for your comments and support. it makes me smile. and yes, still waiting, no labor...yet!
I can't believe how close you are. And what an encouraging post to read. So glad you are in such a happy and peaceful place. Hope everything goes well with your birth and please keep us updated.
I'm am slowly going back and reading your posts...
I really really loved this post
that is all
I just think it is so nice that there is such a direct way to say thank you for writing something that made me smile. Thank you.
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