Monday, November 23, 2009


i'd like to add back then, three years ago the choice was not easy. The idea that i would not carry on a genetic link that we wouldn't together make a baby was VERY hard. VERY. what i'm trying to say, albeit clumsily, is that now that was have our daughter i cannot imagine anyone else in my arms. and i would not change a thing.


it's been a while.
i still read other peoples blogs though rarely post.
i still think about all we went through to be able to have our daughter thru DE.
i still have a plastic bottle filled with used IVF related needles


i still wouldn't change anything we went through to get to where we are today.

our daughter is twenty months old now.
it does not matter how she came to us, only that she is here. really.
people do ask me who i think she looks like and i always say her daddy.
some people say she looks like me and i always say, you think?

obviously i don't know what i'd be like to have a genetically linked daughter i only know that when i think back on the agony and stress we had deciding to go this route i keep thinking but why was it so hard? And then i realized we had to go through it all to get here. And it's something no one can really tell you, although I'm trying to: you will love your DE child as much as you would love your genetic child. I simply can't imagine loving someone more than I love our daughter and i can't imagine having a different daughter.