Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Imagine our shock

when we sat down with dr. fabulous to go over how many of our 18 fertilized embryos we’d put back/freeze and he told us that in fact we had a grand total of two that had made it past the five day mark and those two we’d put back because neither was yet a blast. so the chances that both would make it/stick were very small.

Aint life amazing. One minute we are hypothetically speaking to our obgyn about if I could even physically carry twins the next we are so grateful that we even have two embryos that we can put back at all.

All I can say is that Summer put is so well (thank you Summer) when she said in her comment to my previous post “even though medicine can try to create more and they can retrieve more than one mature egg per stimulation. The whole point of retrieving multiple mature eggs per stimulation is to try to find that good one.”

And of course there is this to say once again: We have no control over events, science certainly gives us that illusion, but it isn’t totally science. There is something else involved in all of this otherwise 1+1 would always equal 2 but that just isn’t the case in the fertility spinning wheel.

So keep sending your thoughts and comments. I have nine more days to go.

My husband and I are, I think, at peace with the idea that whatever the outcome is; it’s what’s meant to be for us and for our family. That said of course I vacillate between hopeful and totally negative until I’m able to remind myself to remain in the present moment which is a nice one to be in.


Joy said...

I have been there. Agonizing about twins and then finding out we had none to transfer at all. I'm still hopeful for you.

Sue said...

Summer always writes the right thing. I am hopeful for you too and will be waiting with you over the next 9 days. Best of luck.

Summer said...

Funny how having no choice in how many to transfer can almost be a relief. Here is hoping these 9 days go fast and you get good news at the end!

And *blush*. I'm glad my words helped, but really, I was only passing on what my RE said to me, which put a lot of my anxieties to rest. And I was hoping it would give you some of the same.

Roccie said...

Whoa. New here from Mo's house. I have some catching up to do.

May I cheer you on these last 9 days?

I am sending you every single ounce of anything I got that could help. Every positive thought I got is for your beta.

Hang in there.